Reroute: belonging in new places

Living like a local in France

Welcome back to ReRoute: Life and Travel After 50, where I’m sharing what happens when you swap speed for stillness and begin to see travel as transformation. In this chapter, I take you inside my month-long stay in Fontaine-le-Port.  This small French village that reminded me how fulfilling life can be when you live like a local, find beauty in routine, and embrace the freedom of solo discovery.

This is a story about belonging in new places, building new rhythms, and finding a sense of self that feels both grounded and wide open.

Choosing the right home base

Planning is key. I spent months researching a place to stay, which could make or break the experience, and kept coming back to an apartment in a small village about 45 min south of Paris that checked all the boxes:

• A stocked kitchen since more home-cooking would be done versus on a shorter trip
• A comfortable living area and TV set-up for more nights in than a shorter trip
• Laundry
• A good bathroom with shower (never assume)
• Strong Wi-Fi
• Free Parking
• Outdoor space
• Private but people nearby

Trusting my instincts, I lucked out with both the location and the home. Fontaine-le-Port, in the Seine-et-Marne department (named for the two lakes), within the Île-de-France region is where I landed.  The small commune borders the Seine (river views to die for), has one boulangerie (imperative), a school (lovely to hear children chattering in French), a pretty church (bells rang every evening) and a population of 800. It’s a 15-minute drive to the larger town of Fontainebleau, with the famous château, and is surrounded by Fontainebleau’s famous dark forest, the setting of many storybooks. I drove to the Fontainebleau market twice a week, discovering incredible sourdough baguettes, fresh fish and seafood and market finds. It was also my go-to place to meet people for dinner. There were also other lovely surrounding towns, many of them starting with ‘Brie’, because as it turned out I was rooted squarely in the Brie cheese region.

Choosing a smaller town on the outskirts of a main city like Paris is a great idea for a slow travel excursion. You can choose to go into the city anytime, easily, and return to your quiet haven at the end of the day. You’ll be able to afford a larger place and have a parking space and other amenities that are nice to have for long stays.

Day trips and Sites in Seine-et-Marne:

• Château de Fontainebleau
• The Fontainebleau market on Thursday and Saturday
• Fontainebleau Forest for trail walks and excursions
• Château de Vaux-le-Vicomte in Maincy (stunning!)
• Towns: Barbizon (especially for art lovers), Courances, Meaux, Moret-sur-Loing, Nemours
• Chablis region and wineries

My apartment was on a lower level with river views, and the owners were upstairs in a separate building. They had a rooftop terrace that was shared with guests, and we spent many evenings together looking out at the Seine along the banks of town, over wine and cheese. The owners were a lovely Brit/French couple who took me out for a boat cruise, had me to brunch a few times, and doted on my dog (yes, I brought my small dog, Pierre, more on that later). Staying for the full month in one place, I was able to really immerse myself in the town and surrounding area, discovering new walking trails, seeing familiar faces during school pick-up, smiling at the bakery owner through broken French (she was not impressed, but it got better), returning to favorite places and finding a routine.

I celebrated my birthday with an afternoon at my favorite nearby town, Barbizon, ripe with the history of artists who lived and worked there as a community. With the dog in tow, I had a wonderful lunch outside, strolled the town, and ended the day back home up on the rooftop terrace Facetiming with friends and family, who looked behind me in awe at the surrounding beauty of where I was living.

If you’re willing to lay down roots in one place and aim to fit in like a local, slow living is worth it. It’s a wonderful way to learn about new cultures, learn languages and learn a few things about yourself. I can’t wait to go back and do it again.

Suggestions for longer stays:

• Map out your location and pin nearby shops, pharmacy, hospital, gas station, train station on your Google map which will connect to your rental car GPS
• Reach out to people you know who are traveling or living in the destination you are going to and make plans to meet. Once word gets out, it’s amazing how people emerge.
• Bring (or buy) an open-top market bag for daily runs to the boulangerie and for the weekend markets
• Don’t over-pack your toiletry bag, France has the best pharmacies with skincare you’ll want to stock up on
• Leverage longer term discounts for home and car rentals
• Use Airolo, a monthly data plan, or WeChat to keep in touch at home
• Pay attention to the description of the amenities of your rental home, and fill gaps as needed. Mine said the kitchen had a ‘pod’ coffee machine, which wasn’t going to do for a month, so I packed a small French press.

Packing Essentials

Glad I Brought:

• Nightlight
• My own pillowcases
• French Press

What I’ll Bring Next Time:

• Expandable Suitcase (checked luggage)
• Snoozer Dog Carrier (can be wheeled or used as a backpack)
• Smaller Carry-on

Solo Travel

A friend visited for the last week of the month, but for the first three I was on my own, navigating the rental car (Mini Clubman), how to weigh and bag produce in the supermarché, and how to navigate underground parking ticket machines in French. I had traveled solo before (backpacking in 1995 and moving to Amsterdam 2006-2008) but this would be the first time I would be going abroad, now in my mid-fifties, to assess if slow travel to France on a regular basis could work. Solo travel is on the rise, especially for women, and 81% of women travelers are 45+. In many cases, older married women now have the time and finances to travel, their partner often isn’t a fan of travel or they are seeking connection with the growing community of likeminded solo travelers.  Technology has also amped up the safety aspect, opening many to the world of solo travel for the first time.

The actress Tracee Ellis Ross has a 3-part series about solo travel and why she loves it. Ellis Ross, 52, claims she wasn’t going to put off traveling until her personal life lined up, and I get it. Instead, she enjoys regular solo adventures and her own company and has a blast. While having the means to travel in a glamorous first-class pod helps, she shared a few of her unglamorous travel must-haves:

• AirTamer personal air purifier
• Disinfecting Wipes
• Compression Socks
• Mini Medical Kit
• Coordinated sweat suit for the plane

Solo travel doesn’t have to mean you’re alone the whole time. As mentioned, I was on my own for part of my stay, saw friends I knew there regularly, and had a friend join the last week. It was a perfect balance. Make it work for you. The good news is that solo travel is now a norm, growing in popularity every year so you’re very likely to meet other solo travelers wherever you go. There are many resources and guides to solo travel, a few listed here:

• Solo Traveler Guide
• Intrepid Travel Solo Tours
• Tips for Traveling Solo

Wellness

When I returned home after a month in France I had lost ten pounds, despite indulging in pastries, drinking wine every day, and never giving a thought to what I was eating. I’ve written about this often because people remain perplexed. Yes, walking makes a difference, but this was not Paris where I would have been without a car and walking everywhere. The difference is the quality of food. Wheat strains are different (less filler), junk/fast-food is hard to find, portions are much smaller, and the French don’t snack. I broke that habit around the second week when I no longer craved something in the evening. I was satiated from a wonderful dinner and nice glass of wine. I shopped more often and built meals around what looked best. There’s no bulk buying or batch-cooking the same meal to eat all week.

Food is one of France’s great pleasures and they take it seriously. Except perhaps for a baguette sandwich, you rarely see people eating on-the-go, during work or (horror) in their cars. They take time to sit down, eat consciously (no TV or scrolling) and enjoy themselves.  Also, no one needs to fill voids with food because they are surrounded by beauty, art, culture and design at every turn, appreciate it and enjoy life. I can’t count how many times I saw older couples sitting in a park on a blanket reading silently or looking out at the water, just doing….nothing. Whether you like the French or not, they have this aspect of life down pat.

What’s Next

Assuming things align, my next slow travel plan is the region of Normandy on the west coast of France, an area I’ve never been to and that I know I must see. From the fishing villages to the epic Mont-St-Michel and the D-Day beaches, Normandy is calling. If I can swing it with remote work and logistics, I’ll stay for 2-3 months across a few places, perhaps Brittany and Normandy, and maybe a month in the Loire Valley. You really can’t lose.

I learn lessons with each journey, and one of the best is to not over-plan. Have a sense of where you want to go and what you want to see but be open to pivoting.  When you travel to a new destination, you don’t know what you don’t know. You may discover a better town along the way or meet locals who take you under their wing and spoil you with hidden gems. I strive to have this philosophy in life too, though it’s ongoing work for an A-type Virgo, but when I let go of the outcome and stay open to opportunities, it never lets me down.