Christina with her two teenage daughters, pre-graming before P!nk concert.

When did we stop enjoying play?

I have memories of being five and running around aimlessly in the playground. I was so thoughtless that I held my head back joyfully and the cherry hard candy I was sucking on slipped into my throat. Luckily it did not get caught, but I had this lump in my throat for the rest of the day and I did not want to run anymore. Is that when it stops? When you have a fear that something bad is going to happen? Why then at 50 did I start enjoying myself again?

In Sun Tzu’s Art of War, he lays out in 13 chapters a military strategy filled with detail and precision. I have always felt like my life was scripted in the same way. As an immigrant, I was the American dream for my parents. They left Hong Kong both as educated professionals hoping for more opportunities for their three children. I was just a baby – nine months old – and a girl. My brothers fulfilled my parents’ dream – becoming a doctor and an engineer, marrying Chinese women and raising beautiful families. I did not do badly either – but a different path – I was an English major – a communications professional – marrying a Caucasian man and raising beautiful daughters. But I am now 50 and the latest victim of corporate America – out of work for almost a year. What an embarrassment to my Chinese parents!

Born in the Year of the Tiger

Although their well-laid plans for their daughter were shattered, I am now finding a new path. Born in the Chinese Zodiac Year of the Tiger, I am attacking my life differently. After going through the ups and downs of being laid off, I am now ready to play. Instead of thinking I need a corporate job, I am thinking about becoming an entrepreneur. It might seem backwards to my parents. When they first arrived to New York, they tried their luck at a luncheonette, a Chinese take-out, and a laundromat all so their kids could have great educations and work white collar jobs. Now, I am becoming that small business owner. My parents might think I am regressing, but I am evolving.

Even the best military strategy must adapt to a counter-attack. After a layoff, you think it is best to retreat but what I have learned is that being on the attack is the best defense. I am finally enjoying the time with my family. I have a high school senior and we are tackling the college application process together. All the skills I have gained in the corporate world and my expertise as a story teller are helping my daughter apply to highly selective colleges. So much so that I am building a business around it. I am using my professional skills and my Tiger Mom instincts to help more families navigate the college admissions process.

Christina enjoying some time in the sun on a Fall afternoon. Photo credit: @emmametz.14

Why did it take 50 years?

So why did it take me almost 50 years to enjoy the art of play again? I guess I needed to find that joy of running around aimlessly in the playground. But this time I don’t have any constraints and I am free to fill my time with what I enjoy. For most of my adult life, I have been following the path that my immigrant parents expected. Going to a good college, finding a husband, climbing the corporate ladder, having kids and making my life better for the next generation. There is no playbook for losing a job at 50.

But here I am. I am spending quality time with my family, taking the trip I always put off, reading more books this year than I have in the past three, taking long walks with friends and enjoying the outdoors (not typical of a kid from Queens). I am starting that business. I am cooking the Chinese dishes I grew up eating and my kids actually love. I will also be writing about it here at Restless Urban.

Stay tuned as I go into battles with the job market, juggle caregiving for elderly parents, raise teenage daughters and become a small business owner. I may even throw in a few authentic Chinese recipes and share the secret to a moist Thanksgiving turkey (hint: soy sauce). I will definitely stumble along the way but I will have fun doing it. I believe the best is yet to come. l will embrace play as an art not a science. I hope you will join my battle hymn of the Tiger Mom!