When did we stop enjoying play? I have memories of being five and running around aimlessly in the playground. I was so thoughtless that I held my head back joyfully and the cherry hard candy I was sucking on slipped into my throat. Luckily it did not get caught, but I had this lump in my throat for the rest of the day and I did not want to run anymore. Is that when it stops? When you have a fear that something bad is going to happen? Why then at 50 did I start enjoying myself again?

In Sun Tzu’s Art of War, he lays out in 13 chapters a military strategy filled with detail and precision. I have always felt like my life was scripted in the same way. As an immigrant, I was the American dream for my parents. They left Hong Kong both as educated professionals hoping for more opportunities for their three children. I was just a baby – nine months old – and a girl. My brothers fulfilled my parents’ dream – becoming a doctor and an engineer, marrying Chinese women and raising beautiful families. I did not do badly either – but a different path – I was an English major – a communications professional – marrying a Caucasian man and raising beautiful daughters. But I am now 50 and the latest victim of corporate America – out of work for almost a year. What an embarrassment to my Chinese parents!

Although their well-laid plans for their daughter were shattered, I am now finding a new path. Born in the Chinese Zodiac Year of the Tiger, I am attacking my life differently. After going through the ups and downs of being laid off, I am now ready to play. Instead of thinking I need a corporate job, I am thinking about becoming an entrepreneur. It might seem backwards to my parents. When they first arrived to New York, they tried their luck at a luncheonette, a Chinese take-out, and a laundromat all so their kids could have great educations and work white collar jobs. Now, I am becoming that small business owner. My parents might think I am regressing, but I am evolving.

Even the best military strategy must adapt to a counter-attack. After a layoff, you think it is best to retreat but what I have learned is that being on the attack is the best defense. I am finally enjoying the time with my family. I have a high school senior and we are tackling the college application process together. All the skills I have gained in the corporate world and my expertise as a story teller are helping my daughter apply to highly selective colleges. So much so that I am building a business around it. I am using my professional skills and my Tiger Mom instincts to help more families navigate the college admissions process.

So why did it take me almost 50 years to enjoy the art of play again? I guess I needed to find that joy of running around aimlessly in the playground. But this time I don’t have any constraints and I am free to fill my time with what I enjoy. For most of my adult life, I have been following the path that my immigrant parents expected. Going to a good college, finding a husband, climbing the corporate ladder, having kids and making my life better for the next generation. There is no playbook for losing a job at 50.

But here I am. I am spending quality time with my family, taking the trip I always put off, reading more books this year than I have in the past three, taking long walks with friends and enjoying the outdoors (not typical of a kid from Queens). I am starting that business. I am cooking the Chinese dishes I grew up eating and my kids actually love. I will also be writing about it here at Restless Urban.

Stay tuned as I go into battles with the job market, juggle caregiving for elderly parents, raise teenage daughters and become a small business owner. I may even throw in a few authentic Chinese recipes and share the secret to a moist Thanksgiving turkey (hint: soy sauce). I will definitely stumble along the way but I will have fun doing it. I believe the best is yet to come. l will embrace play as an art not a science. I hope you will join my battle hymn of the Tiger Mom!