You take vows when you get married…for rich or poor, in sickness and in health. Being married for 23 years, I didn’t think that the “in sickness” part would come as quickly and unexpectedly as it did.

It was December 31, 2023 and we were sitting down to a New Year’s Eve dinner in Cape May, NJ, a new restaurant we were so excited to try. My husband had been recovering from flu-like symptoms during Christmas week. He didn’t look or feel well as we sat at the bar, waiting for our table. We immediately left and headed to the hospital. Fast forward to mid January, after half a dozen hospital visits and tests showing nothing was wrong. He was diagnosed with a panic attack disorder, severe insomnia and depression.

Over the next six months, I would move from dedicated wife to dedicated caretaker. It wasn’t something I was prepared to do. At the same time, I was laid off from my job on Feb. 1 and a dear friend was unexpectedly put on life support and passed away on Feb. 10. To say I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders was an understatement.

Not having a full-time job allowed me to focus on maintaining all of the household tasks (ladies, make sure you know how to operate the lawn mower and other power tools), which included one teenager at home and one away at college, as well as caring for an incapacitated husband. Our daily schedule included numerous doctor visits, testing and trips to the pharmacy for a myriad of drugs.

What would I recommend to someone going through this type of situation? Having always been into fitness and wellness, I leaned heavily into meditation, breathwork, tapping, journaling, yoga, and other stress management modalities. Trying to keep a positive mindset and outlook were critical. As much as I hate relying on others, I definitely looked to my friends and family for support. A supportive community is vital when you’re in crisis mode. Most importantly, taking time away from the day-to-day stress with a fun distraction was essential for me and that’s how I discovered my newfound love of pickleball [LINK to story].

There is a happy ending to this story. As of the end of June 2024, my husband is nearly 100% back to normal. He was ultimately diagnosed with post-finasteride syndrome. My PSA is to make sure you know the side effects of any medications you may be taking. Finasteride is in most hair growth products. While not everyone will get this syndrome, a good percentage do and it is life altering.

All this is to say, this experience has forever changed our relationship. Obviously for the better, in making it stronger. But there were times when I wondered: could our love survive this? Or what if my husband doesn’t recover? My faith and love was literally all I was working with, especially in those first few weeks. Thankfully having the tools to keep my mindset in a good place and a supportive network of family and friends ensured we made it through a difficult time.