Rethinking wealth as a measure of experience and connection vs money in the bank.

Time For A New Measure Of Wealth

I suppose I’m no different from most people in that I spent the early part of my life viewing wealth in quantifiable terms—having a bounty of something, collecting material possessions, or acquiring assets. But as time passed and I began approaching middle age, I expanded the way I perceived wealth. I started seeing it as a bounty of value, with the understanding that what I valued would change over time. And wow, has it ever.

As I reflect, I’m reminded of a quote my Dad shared with me when I was younger and just starting out:

“Measure your wealth not by what you have in the bank, but by the amount of freedom you have to live the life you want.”

At the time, I rolled my eyes and chased the money. What a mistake that was. Thank you, Dad, for the advice that I’ve only now realized was spot on.

Part of my exploration, as I rethought my views on wealth, involved wrestling with the ever-elusive notion of “enough.” What did “enough” mean to me? How would I work toward achieving it? And how would I know when I’d reached it?

My childhood friend Shane Doyle—whom I’ve known since the sandbox days—often challenged me over the years to make changes. Like any good friend, he didn’t mince words.

“‘You are miserable and will die before the rest of us with all your stress. Pack it up, buddy,’ was the tough love I needed to hear—often, but frequently ignored.”

Today, I’ve finally started to listen.

I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers to these questions; I’m still discovering them for myself. But I’d like to take a moment to share some of what I’ve learned along the way, in the hope that it will help inform your own views of wealth as they relate to your well-being and self-discovery journeys.

A More Holistic View Of Wealth

I recently came across an article in which Jennifer Wines, JD, CPWA®, founder of the Invisible Wealth consultancy, notes how we’re collectively taking a more holistic view of wealth that factors in variables like health, knowledge, status, influence, time, energy and experiences, plus intentional, meaningful relationships. Here’s a look at what she has to say, along with some thoughts on why it resonates with me.

1. Valuing experiences over material possessions – Jennifer details how many of us are embracing the notion that while material possessions may offer temporary joy, experiences can provide joy and timeless memories. In fact, what is known as the “experience economy” – prioritizing experience over ownership, is estimated to be worth $12 billion. I am someone who has contributed to this experience economy, traveling to visit friends and family, and getting into New York City, near where I work and live, as often as time and resources will allow.
2. Putting a premium on health over making more money  – Here, Jennifer factors the value of physical, mental, and spiritual health over making additional annual income. This one touches me deeply. Late last year I lost a very dear friend and business associate to a heart attack. I think of him daily and am reminded of how our health is so precious and fragile, which in turn puts the pursuit of more material forms of wealth into some much-needed perspective.
3. Placing an increased value on personal and professional relationships – The COVID-19 pandemic impacted all of us differently and something it drove home for me is the value of our relationships. I’ve found being around people bolsters my happiness and by extension, my health, and Jennifer reminds me that I’m far from alone.

Defining “Enough” When It Comes To Our Wealth

As I mentioned, part of my exploration of wealth has involved how I view enough. For me, that means gaining enough material wealth to enjoy a happy, unique, and fulfilling life without feeling as though the pursuit is all-encompassing. This exploration has led me to consider these, among other questions:

• What makes me happy? – “What makes us happy might be a vacation, but what does that look like and why is it vacation?” suggests Aja Evans, a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in financial therapy. “It’s kind of like peeling one layer and then we’re peeling another layer and really getting deep down into what makes you happy.” I couldn’t agree more and a big part of my own well-being and self-discovery journey has involved peeling these layers and seeing what I discover underneath.
• Am I achieving a work-life balance? – Ideally, many of us would want to have a job or career that pays well and provides a good work-life balance. But, when asked to pick, research shows 69% of Americans indicate a healthy work-life balance would mean more to them than maximizing their earnings. I’m one of these Americans. Have I achieved that balance? The truth is that I have more now than at other moments in my personal and professional life. Sure, a big part of it is age. But it also comes back to gaining clarity around what “enough” means to me.
• What’s my capacity? – Exploring the concept of enough has also enabled me to reconsider a related word, “capacity” – the self-imposed, subjective limits I place on myself. I recognize that these limits may change over time, and I need to in turn be flexible but also honest with myself as I honor my enough. How much am I willing to work? How much do I hope to save? And how does my sense of capacity influence my ongoing well-being and self-discovery journey?

Please let me know your thoughts on taking a more holistic view of wealth and defining “enough.” What have you learned during your own exploration? I’d love to hear from you.